365 days later!!

Photo credit : Mungi photography

My heart is filled with bitter sweet memories. The kind that bring so much joy and nostalgia at the sametime. Today is one of those days that brings to mind treasured memories. I am reminded of tideous journeys that end beautifully, of struggles that close with victory, of races run that are awarded with trophies, of labour that doesn’t end in vain, of lessons learned the hard way, of tearfilled nights that end in mornings of joy, ooohhhhh, this day brings to mind so many beautiful memories.
Before writing this post, i was torn in between what i would want to share in regard to this day. I was caught in the middle of telling you about the rude awakening of adulting and its process or sharing memories that this day paints in my heart. But let’s see how this goes.

Just to put this in context for you my dear readers, last year on 21st October, i successfully graduated from Uganda Christian University with a bachelor’s degree in MassCommunication, journalism major. Prior to this, we had a commissioning service just to give thanks to God, to receive awards and be commissioned in to the world. Mmmmhhhh, i honestly had no clue whatsover of what the world out here had in store for me. However in that moment, all that mattered was that i had made it and God had allowed me to exceeeeellllll far and beyond. A little flash back for you, i had always wanted to pursue Law (this madness though), i look back and laugh at myself. You know how they say that God knows what we need, it’s no lie, i tell you! So yeah after several failed attempts of trying to get in to law school, i had to make peace with the fact that my path in journalism had been marked out for me by God and i had to start walking in this lane. I spent my first year at campus whyning because i felt like i had been cheated by God. All my prayers of law school had turned in to this journey of mass communication. And honestly, i couldn’t understand why God had handed me this card, as in…it wasn’t part of the deal, or atleast i thought so!

Fast forward, here i was, graduating, with a first class!! Of God gave me this course and allowed me to thrive to the top effortlessly even though i spent a great deal of this journey questioning Him about soooo many things. First of all, three weeks before final results came out, i was an emotional wreak. I knew beyond resonable doubt that i had a retake in a particular paper (advanced editing). Here’s what happened, 8th August was the day i was set to write my first final exam. It was a practical paper and i remember we stood in line to be checked before the exam with computers in our hands. I was silently freaking out but with every breath, i said a prayer to the father above to see me through. Anyways, we got in to the exam room and off we started. Please note, the exam set was not as complicated as we had thought. So there we were, putting all our editing skills to use, photoshop, and all those things we had been taught. Half way through the paper, our lecturer kept reminding us to save our work and mahn, the pressure was intense with time flying faster than the wind. The three hours seemed to go by so fast. So, about twenty minutes to the end of the exam, something happened, till this day i don’t know what it was but literally all my work disappered. The panic, the tears, the sweat, the shivers, i was a mess! I tried to breathe in and out to calm my nerves and be able to figure out what had gone wrong. For some strange reason the more i tried to recover the work, is the more chunks and chuncks disappeared. I decided to put up my hand to make my struggles known to the lecturer. By now it was about ten minutes to the end of the exam. He tried to figure out what had gone wrong but it was a mystery to him as well. So he advised that i hand in the little that i had. Friends, this was like quarter of the work that was needed. I felt my heart sink, everything within me was numb. Failed, failrd, failed was all that kept resounding in my mind. I handed in the little i had which was probably like 20% and i asked a friend seated next to me, “how much does paying for a retake cost?” and i remember, she just looked at me and said, “you’re not going to get a retake.” and ignored my question.

After the exam had ended, i recal walking out of the computer lab straight to the chapel. I knelt down and fell apart. I could barely utter a word, i sobbed uncontrollably, in fact, i think i mourned. I just kept saying, “God help me, this is too much for me to take in.” and i cried endlessly for close to two hours. Thank God for friends that are there for us during trying times. Bless your soul my darling shoey for holding my hand that day and praying for me when i didn’t have the strength to do so, i digress. Anyway, I went to my friend’s room, she bought me nice food which i barely had the stomach for and we sat there in awkward silence watching one of Trevor Noah’s funny videos. Before long, i was laughing so hard, my tummy hurt. Meanwhile, the next day we had another tough paper (investigative journalism) but here we were, laughing the night away. When all the comedy was over, she pushed me to campus where i was a resident. As i walked to my room, memories of the exam were flashing through my mind, i begun sobbing, again. I texted one of my really close friends and told her what had happened. And all she said was, “you will not get a retake. God allows such moments to happen to remind us of our need of Him. He has brought you this far, He won’t fail you.” This made me smile but deep down, i still had some waves of doubt (Oh me, of little faith!).

I failed to read that night, but before i went to bed, i asked God to help me enjoy the rest of my exams and not go through what i had been through. And that’s exactly how it happened. Fast forward, everytime, they talked about the release of our final results, i felt my insides cringe in fear. A few days before the release, i was chatting with a close friend and telling him how i wasn’t sure i’d graduate. And he told me, “pray before you sleep, talk to God and remember, the battle is not yours, its God’s. But you have to take your position and stand firm.” I couldn’t even pray, so i wrote a note to God and rested. When the results finally came out, guess who had no retake?…..this girl, whose faith had been so little. And i had silently asked God if only He could give me even just a GPA of 4.28 so i would still be in position to get the first class. But guess what, God showed himself strong and gave me a GPA of 4.50 with no retake, friends, i was just filled with tears of joy. That morning when i went to the notice board, i couldn’t not believe it. God had been so good to me, shown me His favour and i was in awe. Till date. I learnt that day, that when God starts something, He accomplishes it to the end, in ways far above our thoughts. So, i know that it was written when the days of my life were ordained by God, that i would walk in this path of journalism and i would excel because this is where i have been called. Although where i’m standing from right now, there are a lot of blanks and blurs but my heart is hopeful in God who is great. He has seen me through a lot before, and certainly still has great stuff in store.

So, i as write in rememberance of this day, my heart is filled with gratitude. One year later on this journey, that has not been as rosy as it seems on graduation day but nonetheless, i am grateful and as i was contemplating what to write about, the song below, was on my heart 
I will enter His Gates with thanksgiving in my heart

I will enter His courts with Praise

I will say this is the day the Lord has made

I will rejoice for He has made me Glad

Surely, God has made me glad. My heart is full of thanksgiving. As i look back to the events of this day and the journey thus far, a sacrifice of praise is all i can offer to my faithful father. I.A.M G.R.A.T.E.F.U.L ;

For blessings that come in unexpected packaging

For adulting and it’s process (which is no walk in the park by the way!)

For lessons learnt

For waiting periods (interviews, emails, phone calls, job applications and everything in between)

For delays

For rejections in form of closed doors

For opportunities in form of open doors

For experiences that equip us with new skills and life long memories

For guardian angels( friends, sisters, loved ones and even strangers) that make our journey a little bit lighter and easier

For people that teach us to become better

For mistakes made that turned in to lessons learnt

For stretching of faith

For friendships and networks

For surprises

For endurance

For more questions and answers that come to us much later in life

For elders that guide us along the way

For clues that come to us in the least expected places

For intensified pressure and time that flies by like the wind

For parties (i was priviledged to attend all my friends grad parties even though i didn’t get to have one, God catered for me through the ones i attended)

For speeches (the shivers and brain freeze they bring and remembering all you wanted to say after putting the microphone down, haha)

For closed chapters and for new stories

For confusion

For everything in between the 365 days and the many years a head

For this journey, I.A.M G.R.A.T.E.F.U.L, even for memories of this day, thank you Lord. And oh, for our theme song during the graduation period, Sinach’s counting my blessings is on my mind as well;

I’m counting my blessings

I just can’t keep to myself

When i thought that He had done too much

Jesus did it again….oh yes, He sure did!

So wherever you’re at in life, whatever you’re dealing with, i am here to remind you that our God is more than Able and He will bring you through it Victoriously. He will not fail you. Also, a special shout out to all my friends in LDC (Law Development Center), God is with you and with Him on your side, you will thrive! I love you. And i hope your week is going great so far. The month is also coming to an end, i have a surprise for you my readers but in the meantime, do let me know what you are grateful for. There’s definitely a lot be thankful for!

God has never stopped being good..it’s us who forget to give thanks!

Source : Google images

Published by: Dee Gash

My story...your story...our stories make up our history that will live on long even after our journey on earth ends! Let’s keep it written! I am all about this Writing Life...I believe we all have a story to tell and this is my version! I’m humbled that you get to read it. Take a seat and let’s hear from each other.

Categories ambitions, education, GODTags, , , , 4 Comments

4 thoughts on “365 days later!!”

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