I used to be a bold, fearless, risk taker who was not held back from trying out new things. I always wondered what changed, why it stopped…I realise now that I didn’t necessarily lose who I was, I just stopped focusing on those aspects and stopped nurturing them. Like anything that’s not tended to with care, it eventually dies. So those parts of me died but that didn’t mean they ceased to exist.
I mean, they are in me, they are who I am, I just need to reawaken and nurture them back to life. For the longest time, I hated that I loved too much, cared wholeheartedly, gave my all and so many other bits about myself that made me cringe. I felt like maybe I was too much.
So I slowly started withdrawing to fit a mould that I wasn’t designed for. As expected, I struggled and insecurities kicked in. I found myself constantly walking on eggshells and sometimes holding back from the authenticity of who I am. Apologising unnecessarily for aspects I didn’t know made me unique.
But now that I know better, I’m embracing every aspect of who I am. Polishing and refining the bad. Thriving and nurturing the good. I can’t say I have made it or have arrived. I’m still on my journey but I’m definitely sure that each step taken is in forward motion going on from here.
I can’t wait to meet the version of myself that I’d hidden. I cannot wait to continue unlearning and relearning the liberating truths about who I am. I can’t wait to get to the bit on my path where I no longer cringe from my imperfections but use them as stepping stones in to refining the best version of who God made me. I cannot wait to thrive regardless of where I am because finally I see my worth. At last, I recognise the value my heavenly father blessed me with when He gave me His DNA. I see clearer now and know I’m a reflection of God’s image being daily pruned in to His likeness.
I realise now that those weaknesses I carry, are opportunities for growth and a pruning process to be just like my Father God envisioned when He created me. I’m an imperfect being, blooming in His perfect love. I’m deeply loved and intricately known by God.
I’m God’s finest work of art, His masterpiece. A pinnacle of His creation.
Agasha Pearl Denise which means; useful, precious, wise discerner…allow me reintroduce myself. Named on purpose for a purpose. This is who I am and I’m unapologetic about it.
I march forward confident in who and whose I am. Living out my purpose bold and fearless, knowing that I’m daily strengthened by God to fulfil my purpose for His good pleasure. Only He can enable me. [Phil 2:13]
What a time to be alive….HAPPY RE-BIRTH YEAR TO ME. A special day, the one where it’s my birthday. I celebrate the miracle of life because the giver has been good and gracious to me. Here’s to living more intentionally, authentically and purposefully. Some call it changing, I call it finding myself.
THIS IS ME ✨
This 27 [Season 20, episode 7]
And as is my annual norm, a letter to the Queen I’m becoming [beams]
Dear Queen Pearly, it’s been quite the year. Every bit of you has been tested to the core. I’m so proud of you for clinging on. I watched you struggle on many occasions to silence those voices raging in your mind. I’m so glad they led you in to the loving arms of your Abba whose voice re-echoed truth.
Like a flower that is starting to bud, I have watched you sprout. Even on days when it felt like you’d been buried underneath, you allowed yourself remain rooted in the one who had planted you. I hope you continue to Abide.
I’m sooooo proud of the woman you are becoming but even more, the woman you were because she led you here. With every brokenness, you’ve allowed your Abba to piece it all back together in an even better frame.
I’ve watched you come out of your shell even when it has been extremely terrifying and oh my, what a sight it is to behold. You are like a bird that has been set free from a cage, soar on darling…soar beyond greater heights.
I know there have been so many lessons this past year. It’s been one of your most roller coaster years and yet also the most liberating as well as catapulting. And you know what, God did that. He held your hand through and through and I hope you never let go of His grip.
As you march on, it’s amazing to see you free spiritedly and boldly stepping out. As you, don’t forget who sent. Hold on to His character and know that He has gone before you. Go shine like the light bearer you are…you have been given dominion, go conquer in Faith. And don’t you dare lose your sense of wonder.
I could say so much more to you but I know you know better now and without a shadow of a doubt. Now, I pray for you that you will be all God intended for you and more. May you never let anything dim your shine, you are a light house. May your life be an expression of God love and may your light be an expression of His Glory shining in and through you.
Now buckle up, a new journey has begun…take every stride in faith and graciously pace yourself in the Lord as He leads you. On this day next year, as you look back I hope you see all the greatness God achieved through you. And when you do, I hope you raise a banner of praise. Continue to be the ambassador of gratitude because God must be praised from the rooftops. Also, garrrlll relaxxxxx! I don’t want you worrying or sweating about stuff that your daddy Abba already knew about before He made you. Just lean into His loving arms and watch how He amazes you…to many more letters and stones of remembrance in honor of God’s faithfulness…Happy rebirth year beautiful…oh what a time to be alive…you are indeed here for such a time as this. Love you lots, yours truly, God’s Queen!